I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize