i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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