Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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