giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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