I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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