dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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