I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
