I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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