Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
