Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
