How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
