oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize