yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
