Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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