remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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