I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
