bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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