shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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