The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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