You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Where is the hickey?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it's like iHOP with fire
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
