P.S. I can't hear my feet
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
