he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
