also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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