You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
