every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Even my vagina gasped.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
