i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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