Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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