weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
As shirtless as possible
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Randomize
