party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
