He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
