I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
