Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
