You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize