You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
