if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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