You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
