Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
