Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
