you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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