y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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