My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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