the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
