she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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