Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
