I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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