I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
