I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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