Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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