honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
