the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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