Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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