u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
