I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
