I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
