tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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