I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
