i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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