I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
