hotel room ftw
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
