Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
