Having a random hookup so left but love u
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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