Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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