So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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