hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
