okay pat passed out under dana's car
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
