I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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