I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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