i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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