I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Houston, we have a squirter
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
