ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
