When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
